Mrs Younger returned from a trip to Australia with a friend this week. It seems they had got their passports swapped and nobody in 4 airports noticed, not even our shiny hi-tech Terminal 5 at Heathrow. So, while everybody is ordered around by “security officers” (who to be honest I wouldn’t let anywhere near a business requiring a real decision to be made) and randomly ordered to take off their belts and shoes and generally bullied, others are walking past officials and foiling the all-singing and all-dancing technology right under their noses. It’s not unlike auditing – it’s a numbers game, some you win and some you lose…..

Actually the growing pains are in reality the pains of non-growth! I have lost count of the number of accountants who spend years wringing their hands as to why their firm has hit a glass ceiling but do absolutely nothing about it. Nothing at all! Even those who do make enquiries as to how they can hit the always moving target of more and better clients NOTE TO MARC – THIS LINK LEADS TO A ‘PAGE CANNOT BE FOUND’ generally fail to make the necessary investment. If you don’t invest you don’t reap.

Now we’ve heard it from the Bank of England that “zombie” companies are a drain on capital. So what should you advise a client that is running a zombie firm? After all, it may well be “their baby” and is most likely providing them with an income. I have given this problem thought for some time, especially in my voluntary work as a business adviser.  Nearly all zombie owners are depserate for a solution that releases the debt pressure from them, so why not suggest turning it into a “not for profit company” by bringing in social investors and negotiating with the lenders. If you can pull it off it safeguards jobs, allows for growth and gives the former owner something to aim for. Surely, it’s a win-win all round.

Here we go again. House prices are rising and everybody is getting into a lather. This time however it’s a wee bit different becasue it seems to be “worse” in London. In an efficient market it will push buyers outwards, which should stimulate the broader economy and in turn cool down the London market. I suppose the “help to buy” scheme is a complicating factor which makes the dismal art of economics somewhat more dismal.

Anyway, just think of all those pensioners whose houses will be able to fund their retirement because interest rates are too low to keep themselves feed.

I haven’t  a clue where it will end but my advice is to keep buying the right type of house in the right type of area and watch the market like a hawk.

Well, we’ve had our money laundering audit and the dreaded letter arrived a couple of weeks ago. I suppose it is a bit like a health inspector in a restaurant, they’ll always find something that is not quite to their satisfaction. In this case I recalled the inspector for a chat as I sat down and trawled through the legislation and the guidelines.  I picked up a couple of points that were either in my view ambiguous, contradictory or shock, horror, not covered.

The long and the short of it is that I have had to postpone my staff training and suggested improvements to our systems becasue an answer is required from HMRC policy unit.

However, the biggest surprise for me was to learn that according to the inspector I am the first person to actually query the guidance given following an audit. Are my fellow professionals meekly going like “lambs to the slaughter”  or are we battle weary?